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| The
name of our country derives from the Latin australis meaning ‘southern’ or ‘belonging
to the south’; hence Australia, a name conferred by
people from the north. The history of this land has been
one of allegiance to the British Empire, first, and more
recently to America as it’s become the world’s
dominant power. Proud as Australians may be of their country,
the name it possesses hints at those habits of subservience
which are part of its character. There has long been another
strand, however, of those wanting their land to be better
than its sources, in particular, those expressing the ideas,
feelings, intuitions and passionately held values which have
arisen here. The essays in this book deal with the Australian
land, the responses to it of the black civilisation, the
ways of those who came later, but most of all with its writers,
giving the land a voice of its own, the sounds of its most
deeply felt expression. |
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read some extracts from the book click here: |
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The
land (1)
The land (2)
The land (5)
The land (5) again
My dear old Swanee …
The new timidity
Owning ourselves
The book’s conclusion |
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read about the writing of this book click
here. |
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from
The land (1)
Our
most gifted people went to England, to Europe, and the wealthy,
if they could find reliable managers
of their Australian stations,
went back for periods of two or three years, perhaps even longer.
By the time of my childhood, families of long residence in
Australia were a little scornful of those who thought of
England as home,
but this was perhaps an over-simplification on their part,
as if they wanted something of great pain and delicacy resolved
more simply than its nature allowed. Here is a passage from
a
book about a family once thought representative of the Australian
pastoral expansion:
Through
the first decade of the century, even with so much going
on my father never lost sight of
the fact that as soon
as they
could afford it they would return to England for a visit,
as homesickness had increased with the years. … At
last, in 1910, they set sail … When they arrived in
London Mother stayed there for a few days to allow Father
to go to
Somerset
to see his parents alone. They met him at the train and drove
to Baltsborough. As they neared the village father could
hear the church bells ringing out gaily and he was surprised
as
they were rung only to signify some major event such as peace
being
declared. When he looked at his mother in astonishment she
said, ‘But
they’re ringing for you, son. Because you’ve
come home.’ (1)
Austin
William Austin had been in Australia – Hay,
Narrandera – for
fifteen years. Other members of his family had come out too, they’d
taken up properties, they’d built homesteads, excavated lakes, had
shearing sheds erected, and fences … mile upon mile. They, and thousands
like them, had played great parts in the appropriation, the expropriation,
of Australia, they
had gained and lost by the experience, and they knew it. They had lost England
as the centre of their sense of normality. It was too small for minds that
had accommodated the distances, the irregularities, the scale and scope of
the land
they’d adopted and adapted, and which, in its turn – the land
is ever active in unsuspected and powerful ways – had done the same
to them. The Austins, like all Australians, had been changed by the place
they’d
set out to alter.
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from
The land (2)
Aboriginal
societies appear to have been based on the development of
their members, the preparation
for learnings to be revealed
to them, and the secrecies whereby things were sequestered
until the time was right. In a society that built virtually
nothing,
this involved the necessity of being able to keep things, and
knowledges, apart. Tjuringa, or carving sticks, with all their
encoded messages, were kept hidden, not so much by the fact
of inappropriate people not knowing where they were but from
such
people being forced to stay away because taboos, restrictions,
were a necessary and normal part of daily life. This is not
easy for a modern, democratic society to accept. Parliamentary
government
is an elaborate set of codes of behaviour for the management
of human affairs, and it is only when one attempts to explain
it to people from non-democratic societies that one can see
how mystifying it all is, even though the insider may think
it clear
as crystal. Knowledge, now called ‘information’,
is an almost-currency today, which means that it is transferable
and can be considered separately from the person whose mind and
behaviour carry it. This is a distinction which the aboriginal
people appear not to have made. Their societies were much tighter
than ours, and for two very good reasons: they were far, far
smaller, and their survival, their continued existence in a landscape
not concerned with sustaining them, was rarely guaranteed for
more than a few days. Successful hunting on one day didn’t
ensure success the next. Obvious, isn’t it, but important
too. Aboriginal vigilance was endless, and had to be; their awareness
of everything else, those things which the whitefellas called ‘nature’,
was the only thing that kept them alive, and was, therefore,
inextricably mixed with those matters which the whitefella defined
as ‘religious’, that is to say those levels of thought
concentrating on what for the most part the human brain finds
it difficult to know. For the black people, these matters were
not transcendent, but everyday. The whites, observing them, thought
they were childlike, lacking, all too often, in those personality
layers which we call maturity, wisdom, responsibility … The
synthesis of these things which the black people made was a
different one, and, as I have been saying for some time now,
the synthesis
was held together for the black people by a whole range of
things which the whites would have regarded as mumbo-jumbo,
despite
their own inability to see that similar types of thought-behaviour
held their thinking together too.
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from
My dear old Swanee …
They
had words for everything, and they looked like Martians (whatever
they look like; the
Yanks would find out one day, we
had no doubt) when they dressed up to play gridiron. Australian
footballers were said to strip, but not the Americans
who had helmets and padding that would have protected them
in a bodyline series … another thing they ignored, as
they did most of the customs of older civilisations they were
putting behind them
as they created something new. Where would it end?
It
was going on and on. They didn’t fear failure because
they didn’t
care what happened to those who fell by the wayside. They were warm and generous
to your face, strangely heartless about those who dropped out of sight. Australians
became aware, eventually, that America had a higher rate of imprisonment
than almost any country that thought itself halfway decent.
They slapped’em
in jail! They had queues on Death Row and the end, when it came, was via
the electric chair. A certain number of people were allowed
to watch these executions,
which must have been fearful. Clergymen, as dramatic as the rest of their
system, prayed with the fated individual until the last.
I remember my father making
jokes about the condemned man eating a hearty breakfast. Did he mean bacon
and eggs? Toast? A little more milk in his coffee, which was what they drank
instead
of tea? America, when you got to know it, seemed to be a juggernaut rolling
forward with overwhelming momentum and taking little notice of what it crushed.
Perhaps
our systems did have a little more feeling, a little more sensitivity, than
theirs?
The
frightening thing was that they didn’t stop with the bombs
that had obliterated two Japanese cities. They went on, and built hydrogen
bombs. They
were frightened of the Russians and the Russians built hydrogen bombs too.
The Russians – the Communists, let’s call a spade the dirty black
and diabolical device we know it is – were not only militarily formidable,
they’d gone down another path in the relationship of money, business
and society, and they challenged the American – wait for it – Way
of Life! The Americans had a way with rhetoric and they quoted Lincoln at
Gettysburg,
their own constitution and some notable Supreme Court judgements with aplomb.
There was no greater certainty on earth. Many Australians still feel ashamed
of our lack of rhetoric, feeling the comparison is in the Americans’ favour.
I respectfully disagree. Their rhetoric reassures them, preventing them from
seeing what they’ve done to themselves …
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from
The new timidity
Managerialism
works, for them, bullshit as it may seem to us. And managerialism
works because their
society is set up to make
it work. Efficiency and productivity are flags that Americans
will always salute. Why is this so? Because the virtues underpinning
efficiency and productivity have been established in those
areas of life where few challenges take place. I mean the
arts, entertainment,
song. Dance, legs kicking high. The murmur of the voice before
it starts to pump words into amplifying systems. Any analysis
of power in modern societies could start, I think, with the
questions who gets microphones put in front of them so we
can hear them
speak, and, who’s given a way into that higher rank of
the microphoned society where someone gets a mike to carry
as they move around, spotlight following. Did the Americans
invent
this way of segregating, those whose words are heard and those
who follow their lead? Perhaps not: they had predecessors,
no doubt, but they’ve perfected the art, and the way
to test this is to ask anyone what’s wrong with the microphonic
society and most, I fear, would be unable to answer.
So
what is wrong with it? That’s easy enough. It’s
undemocratic. It’s a practice that empowers one voice
over others. You don’t
see anything wrong with that? Oh dear.
If
voices can’t be heard, then
they’re not equal to those which can.
Seems obvious, no? Democracy has been reshaped many times over since the
days of European royalties resisting it. Democracy triumphed in parts of
the world,
not least Australia (we can be proud of that) but it can be subverted,
and it is, all the time. If you give people votes you need to control what
they
think.
A more effective form of control is to ensure that campaigns to get someone
elected are so expensive that only the rich can run! Ever thought of being
President
of the United States? If you come from a log cabin, forget about it; you
couldn’t
even pay for a busload of cheerleaders, and you’re going to need
plenty of those. Again, have we gone as far as the Americans in this direction?
No, we don’t have the wealth and possibly not the inclination. There
is a third way of controlling votes, or at least restricting the issues
which will be decisive
in the way people cast their votes. That’s to get people to accept
debt and repayments so large that economic issues are larger in their minds
than any
others. You have then only to frighten them with the possibility of interest
rates rising, and their debts becoming so unmanageable that they’ll
have to sell half of what they own (at lousy prices because everyone’s
selling, not buying, see!) and you’ve got them pretty close to where
you want them. What I’m describing is the rearrangement of things
so that the political processes are kept out of any matter until they’ve
been so shaped that the formal political processes only come into play
at what I shall call the enactment
stage. By the time a decision’s required, the decision’s already
been made. It’s a weakness of democracy that people think it can
be trusted, and in many ways it can, but it’s hard to defend it against
those influential and clever people who can stage-manage things so that
the matter of import to
them is a fait accompli by the time a rubber stamp is needed.
It’s
only possible to achieve this level of sophistication if you have the right
people
in the right stages of every process, so this means that incoming governments
need to replace their people with our people; in countries
with democratic forms, this art was perfected and most ruthlessly practised
in the US of A. America.
The world’s shining light, the beacon of hope by which they have
characterised themselves, that lamp standing off Manhattan Island to attract
the dispossessed,
the unhappy, the wretched and forgotten of Europe to live in the light
of the light of the world!
America
has trained the world to look to it for hope, and its success
has
been incredible. The world’s poor still look to it with envy, and
the educated people of China, a country with a long and illustrious theme
of painters and
poets to illumine its existence, look to it too. America is revered in
many countries because its people have what the people of the poorer countries
don’t
have: happiness, freedom, choice, wealth, wealth and more wealth, and
the confidence that is born of surety. America gives the world a message
that it cannot fail …
… yet
anyone with a halfway reasonable pair of eyes can see that
it has failed, at times in the past, is still failing, and
will fail again. America
is failing as I write, it seems to me, because it has invaded Iraq,
a country it has no way of understanding: its very presence
in the country attracts all
the America-haters (there are plenty) of the Muslim world, thus allowing
a surrogate version of the old crusades, and, if you think
about it, a re-creation in another
place of that old American favourite, the battle of good and evil.
They’ve
gone around the world, they’ve invaded a country where they’re
not wanted, and they’ve created, not peace, not a new society,
but an old form of battle, one they need, apparently, so the drama
in their minds can
be mirrored
in a world of bombs, shooting, destruction, wrecked buildings, hospitals
where the human wreckage is wheeled around on trolleys, with cameras
panning over
bodies needing surgical attention. The Americans have landed. The Americans
are here!
All
of this is so far, for me, from the sort of visions which
our country, Australia, gave birth to, allowed, in the late 19th
century and the
beginning of the 20th,
that I struggle to see why it isn’t easy to resist the American
influence. Yet we can’t seem to reject it. The reasons why
this rejection are so hard to find must be my subject in the next
of these essays.
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from
The land (5)
How
have Australians loved their land? What does the land compel
from those who look at it, cross
it on foot or by modern, motorised
means? That is my subject, and I propose to deal with it via
a case study, the life, and family, of Stella Maria Miles Lampe
Franklin and the places she had in mind in her pioneering saga,
All That Swagger (7).
This
book is not well known today, having slipped behind My
Brilliant Career, the book and the film,
both still full of
life. All That Swagger has a huge cast
of characters, and it’s dedicated ‘to the memory of my paternal
grandparents whose philosophical wit and wisdom and high integrity are a
living legend of
the Murrumbidgee.’ The Australian river gets the first of many mentions
on page 1, and then the author slips back to Ireland for a few indulgent
paragraphs; Danny Delacy and Johanna Cooley, the girl who elopes with him,
are leaving
a fabled, fairied land, surrounded by seas and stories, for something that
neither
of them knows. Johanna tells Danny that what he has in mind is only a dream,
and he answers, ‘Everything is a dream till it is made come true. Come
make this true with me, Johanna.’ With brave words of this sort great
undertakings begin. Danny and Johanna ship themselves to Sydney, they go
inland, and they
take up ‘Bewuck’, a deserted property, said to be haunted, on
the Murrumbidgee some way to the west of where Canberra stands today. Danny
longs
for land, and when he gets it he has to clear it.
Guarding
the illusive land were throngs of giants – the
stateliest trees on the globe. Delacy was like an ant
in the aisles of box trees and towering
river gums, but he attacked them as an army, grunting with effort,
sweat dripping from him. His slight form grew as wiry
as steel; his hands were corneous and
scarred with the work of felling and grubbing.
Danny’s work makes
things clear for him; Johanna’s situation is
less certain.
… work
relieved her loneliness, intensified by the moaning of the
river oaks, and the noise of the queer grey birds that threw
laughter back and forth
for miles,
until dark and after. Their lusty guffawing, upon the smallest provocation
or upon none, had a brow-beating effect on her; and she was mortally
afraid that the bunyip would rear his undescribed form from
the fish hole, or the ghosts
would cry in the crossing. These fears festered; she dared not confess
them to
Danny.
Danny
loses himself, and finds himself, in his work. Johanna is
never secure in her new existence, since it never provides
nor seems likely
ever to
provide the elegancies she hopes for. In her native Ireland such
things
were to be
found in wealthier and more cultivated homes but on the banks of
the Murrumbidgee there
seems no prospect of wealth, elegance or cultivation, ever. Johanna
sees no hope, while Danny, for whom everything important takes place
in the
mind -- ‘the
moind, the moind’ – finds challenge inspirational in itself.
No matter how hard he works at Bewuck he has his eyes set on ‘a
valley that the blacks called Burrabinga’, further back in
the mountains …
‘Utterly inaccessible,’ Johanna
would say with falling heart.
‘
Wasn’t Australia inaccessible till Cook found it, and
America out of bounds till the Puritan fathers settled it?
No place is inaccessible if you have the
mind to go there.’
> back
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also
from The land (5)
This
is why Franklin claims the aeroplane and those who fly it
as continuations of old Danny’s
mind. The moind! The moind! Australia glows in Franklin’s
rapture as Brian Delacy prepares to return to Sydney:
All
too swiftly the day ascended and declined. The shadows
lengthened from the cropped tussocks pimpling the
hillsides. Perfume of
wattle bathed approaching evening in delight. The bright
landscape danced in air translucent and dazzling. The
westering sun laying
vesper offering on the rim of day, melted sky and mountains
into a glory of filtered light and retreated to the
core of a continent
over which as yet man had no sure dominion. A land of
distances, a land dependent on distances for preservation;
a land gorgeously empty and with none of the accumulations
of centuries of human occupation …
For
those of us who love the land as Miles did, it would be easy
to end there or thereabouts,
but honesty compels
me to include what she says just before Brian
Delacy takes his plane into the air again, when she sees some of the dangers
inherent in man taking to the skies:
Critical
days ahead with the machine as master, looming as the destroyer
if manipulated to Satanic
ends! But it was inconceivable that men would
hurl themselves into
the abyss when the way out was as clear and wide as the shimmering track
of the departing sun.
These
words were printed in 1936; three years later the European
powers were warring again. Civilian populations
were being bombed, armies were
at each
other’s
throats, Jews dragged into death camps, and before long Japanese soldiers
were sweeping through Asia, cruel and brutal, and Germans were dying
in the Russian
snow. Humanity had shown its hand again! Where, then, do the visionaries
belong? Is there anything they can see for us, out there at the edges
of what it’s
possible for humans to see, that’s actually true, or capable
of being brought from dream to reality? Can those things which the
mind – the
moind! – imagines
be made to happen?
Yes,
sometimes, occasionally, perhaps …
It
seems to me that vision is one of the most precious characteristics
of being
human, but it is only a step in
a longer process whereby the
imagination has
its first, delicious, contact with something that’s new, and
yet to be made real. The reality, the incorporation of the vision
into daily activity,
will happen when it’s ready, which normally means when it suits
somebody to make it happen because it will help to make them rich.
Humanity’s greed
and ambition are never to be kept out of the reckoning very long.
And, since I have been discussing Australia – Oztralia – in
terms of vision, where does this leave my argument? Is there anything
left standing at all?
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from
Owning ourselves
Why
have we let ourselves become like the Americans? One could
argue that we never quite outgrew
the problematical aspects of
being part of the British family, we simply transferred the
difficult aspects of the relationship - those relating to
our lesser status
- to America, which meant, as I have said earlier in these
pieces, that we were wide open to the darker forces in American
society
when these became apparent. You may agree with that or not,
but for me the easier question to approach is how we’ve
been overpowered, and it’s been a cultural tsunami
that’s
done it. American music, film, the sheer force of its popular
arts, have done more to shape the minds of Australians than
the efforts of our own artists, though they’ve always
been there, building up a stream of understanding which has
seeped
at least a little way into the substratum of our society’s
mind. I mean you, dear reader, and myself, and everyone we
know. The only voices we can rely on are the ones that seem
to speak
truly, and many of them will have worked and died before Australia
had been heard of, that land that may or may not have existed
in the blank spaces down there in the south! The only voices
we can rely on are those that seem to speak truly, and we’ve
had many of those in our country down the years. As a writer,
it’s natural for me to turn to those artists whose work
I best understand, in hopes that what they’ve had to
say will give us awarenesses to fill out our thinking and leave
us
feeling that there’s little that we can’t understand
in a way we know to be ours.
The
rough and tumble of early white history sorely tried those
not strong enough to bear what it
chanced to give them. Here’s
Henry Handel Richardson (8), dealing with the gold fever
that struck her country in 1851:
This
dream it was, of vast wealth got without exertion, which
had decoyed the strange, motley crowd, in which peers
and churchmen rubbed shoulders with the
scum of Norfolk island, to exile in this outlandish region. And the
intention of all alike had been: to snatch a golden fortune
from the earth and then, hey, presto! For the old world
again. But they were reckoning without their host:
only too many of those who entered the country went out no more. They
became prisoners to the soil. The fabulous riches of which
they had heard tell amounted, at best, to a few thousands
of pounds: what folly to depart with so little,
when mother earth still teemed! Those who drew blanks nursed an unquenchable
hope,
and laboured all their days like navvies, for a navvy’s wage. Others
again, broken in health or disheartened, could only turn to an easier handiwork.
There
were also men who, as soon as fortune smiled on them, dropped their tools
and ran to squander the work of months in a wild debauch; and they invariably
returned,
tail down, to prove their luck anew. And, yet again, there were those who,
having once seen the metal in the raw: in dust, fine as that brushed from
a butterfly’s
wing; in heavy, chubby nuggets; or, more exquisite still, as the daffodil-yellow
veining of bluish-white quartz: these were gripped in the subtlest way
of all. A passion for the gold itself awoke in them an almost sensual craving
to touch
and possess; and the glitter of a few specks at the bottom of a pan or
cradle
came, in time, to mean more to them than “home”, or wife
or child.
Such
were the fates of those who succumbed to the “unholy hunger”.
It was like a form of revenge taken on them, for their loveless schemes
of robbing and fleeing; a revenge contrived by the ancient, barbaric country
they had so
lightly invaded. Now, she held them captive – without chains; ensorcelled – without
witchcraft; and, lying stretched like some primeval monster in the
sun, her breasts freely bared, she watched, with a malignant eye,
the efforts made by
these puny
mortals to tear their lips away.
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The
book’s conclusion
The
last word goes to Frederic Manning, 1882 – 1935, child
of a well-to-do Catholic family; his father was for a time
Lord Mayor of Sydney and Manning’s household was in
close contact with the State Governor, at a time when vice-regal
circles were
socially central. He was sickly and used his weakness to keep
himself away from school, having private tutors instead. While
still a youth he went to England and when war came he waited
for a time, then joined the King’s Shropshire Regiment
as a humble soldier, when it was available to him to become
an officer. His front-line experience lasted only three months,
but it gave him what he needed. In 1929, he wrote it down (16).
Manning is, alas, hardly known in his own country and forgotten
in England, but his book holds all that he learned of war and
his reflections upon it. It is also a model of stylish, shapely
prose, responsive to everything it conveys.
On
the march to Louvencourt they passed an Australian driving
a horse-drawn
lorry, with a heavy load whereon he sprawled,
smoking a cigarette with an indolence
which Bourne envied. The Colonel wheeled his grey, and pursued him with
a fire of invective practically the whole length of the
column, to the man’s
obvious amazement, as he had never before been told off at such length,
and with such
fluent vigour, in language to which no lady could take exception. He
sat up, and got rid of his cigarette, looking both innocent
and perplexed.
Certain
national stereotypes were well established by 1916! Again,
it is
tempting to end the quotation there, but Manning has more:
The
men were delighted. It was quite time somebody was made to
pay attention
to their bloody mob.
The
Shropshire soldiers are pleased that somebody is getting
ticked off. The Colonel is their man, not the
Australian. Indolence is not allowed
within their
ranks. We need to recognise that the English soldiers are protecting
their sense of themselves and the ways in which they’ve been
made. Others will always be others to them. As for Australians,
the responsibility of understanding, expressing
and portraying ourselves … that will always be ours. > back
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| The
writing of this book: |
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When
I finished Melba: an Australian
city I felt that I would
move on to a similar book of essays on Australia. I did.
I searched my mind for what I shall call basic feelings about
the country and found myself returning to the Bernard O’Dowd
poem quoted at the very beginning. This poem posed questions
to, at or about the country so it seemed it might be useful
to work towards some answers. But how to do it? I found myself
differentiating between the land and the life lived on it.
This could vary immensely, something we can see easily if
we contrast office workers in city towers with the lives
of semi-nomadic tribal people living off the land.
The
black people lived very close to the land and its ways, but
it
seemed to me that white people did too, even though they
appeared frequently to ignore
it. The land influences us, and its effects can go much further; I had myself
been brought up as part of a farming family and from my experience white people
who worked the land became deeply attached to it. As a young man I thought
the landscape was boring and as I grew up on the flat plains
of inland New South
Wales it wasn’t hard to justify this. It was harder to sustain, though,
when I too came to love the land. Eventually I wrote about it (Mapping
the paddocks),
and then I read Joan Austin Palmer’s Memories
of a Riverina Childhood (1993).
Joan was sixteen years older than me, and her family’s properties larger
than my parents’ holding, but there was a great deal in common. Reading
her book made me think of all the station properties I’d been driven
past in my childhood. I saw that even though I was as tied up in the global
financial
system as anyone else, the connection I felt with the land would not be denied.
This, then, was the way I would approach writing about Australia.
Which
I called Oztralia, for reasons made clear in the introduction.
It wasn’t
long before I was riffling through Miles Franklin’s All
that swagger,
a book I had come to love quite a few years earlier. I had driven through
Talbingo before I became aware of the Franklin family’s attachment
to the place, and I had loved it at first sight: it was the most beautiful
place I’d
seen. Years passed before I discovered the Franklin connection with the place,
but when I discovered it I felt a bond with Miles. No wonder it was so important
to her.
Another
important influence in the development of this book was a
visit I made to Central Australia with my daughter and friends; on a sign
near one
of the
waterholes in the West Macdonnell ranges I read that these mountains had
once been as high as today’s Himalayas, but had been eroded over
time. Time! The aboriginal people had known the land through many thousands
of
years, had
seen climate changes, and had adapted to them. The land presented itself
to my thinking as a fundamental force in our existence. It seemed to me
that Australian
life had been exposed to many influences external to that fundamental shaping
force of the land (the British empire, the American empire), and that the
interaction of these external forces with what was local and undeniable
was where the action
was, so to speak, in the shaping of my country’s civilisation. British,
European, even American ideas weren’t quite the same when moved to
the context of the land we lived in and on.
My
approach was settled; I had only to write. There are only
two more things I want to say about this
book, and they are connected. I had had for many
years a little collection of writings in which various of my fellow authors
described
the business of folding sheets, or perhaps a tablecloth. Hal Porter was
the first writer I remember doing this and I’d read his account
with delight because I’d seen my mother and numerous other women
doing the same thing. It had been one of the rituals of my childhood.
Hal described
it and so did others.
For years I wanted to do something with these writings but all my ideas
involved developing the idea in some way whereas I thought the quotations
should stand
without explication. Finally, in this book, I got my chance to put them
on show in the simple way I thought was right.
In
the book’s last
essay I do a similar thing with writers summoning up in some way the
idea of Australia, or the way Australians lived. I managed this
process as carefully as I could but it took control. I had heaps of books
on my oval dining table, sometimes two, three or four books by the same
author.
I browsed through these books that I knew well anyway, and put slips
of paper in to mark possible quotes. I stared at the growing piles of
books and told myself
that many of them would have to go back on the shelves because the piles
were too big. I added more. Then, when I began the essay, the whole thing
became easy.
As I started writing each day, I picked up a couple of books, riffled
through them speedily for a quote that suited, and put it in my essay.
(Mine?) At the
end of the writing session the book went back to the shelves. Any number
of wonderful and much-loved books didn’t get quoted but the essay
was writing itself. The process was in control, as happily as ever.
I read the essay now and see
that it knew what it wanted, and had used me to get what it needed.
I am privileged to be a writer. I serve a demanding but wonderful master.
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